Saturday, 16 May 2009
-
Currently
HEART & SOUL/I WANT A NEW DRUG
I Want A New Drug
see relatedIf you were an FDA approved drug, what would your possible side effects include?
Well. Eilis certainly comes up with interesting questions ...
Let's see. Before we get to side effects, I should probably know what my main purpose would be: What am I supposed to cure or treat?
Hmmm ... So many options.
AIDS, halitosis, Multiple Sclerosis, gingivitis, cancer, jock itch, diabetes, being grouchy in the morning, ALS, the heartbreak of psoriasis, cardio-vascular disease ...
Two of the conditions listed above are particularly common in my family, so I will do a coin toss to decide which one I should cure ...
One moment, please.
.....
All right, cancer it is.
I would be a miracle drug that cures any and all forms of cancer with just one week of treatment.
However!
Side effects include: Urge to giggle at inappropriate times (funerals, during a friend's tale of woe, etc ... ); sarcasm; impatience with idiots; the urge to strangle Regis Philbin; disdain for household chores; inability to answer a Featured Question seriously; and, of course, itchiness.
I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!
-
recommend
- recs 1
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Post a Comment
- Back to CanadianBroad's Xanga Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in CanadianBroad's local time zone: GMT -06:00 (Central Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (3)
Ha ha! Well, thanks for the shout-out.
I actually came up with it after watching a commercial for AmbienCR and thinking how odd it was that one of the possible side effects was "being more outgoing". Then I posted it on my Facebook status and got a lot of responses. I keep meaning to answer my own question on here and include what my friends have said about me. It was really fun. ^_^
You're describing me. I guess I'm the cheap generic.
You forgot the rash. No side effect list is complete without strange rashes.